Monday's are so oblivious to the fact that if we ignore them - they won't exist. However, Monday's are creepy and they lie - the only reason they exist is because we let them. Just try reading your Sunday paper on Monday. And go to BRUNCH - see how your Monday likes that. Careful because Monday will show up in your mail box - but ignore it there too. Which will undoubtably piss your Monday off so bad it will land on the hood of your car parked in your drive way and slide down onto the ground and roll all over the drive way with the leaves and grime. Let it. Mondays love to throw temper tantrums. If this happens to you, I suggest getting your power hose out and hosing down your car directly on a Monday. Yep washing your car on Monday will send it into a rage and most likely Monday will get all choked up and won't be able to speak for a good three hours - and the best thing is after you have washed your car right on that Monday, you will leave a water and suds trail which will eventually travel down the gutters of your neighborhood and will disturb all the other Mondays' that have been successful at infiltrating other's lives in your hood. This is a great taunting technique and often causes your neighbors to envy not only you and your clean car, but your lovely tan. Yes tan because you are wearing shorts and a halter - or no top at all if you are a hairy man or a buff boy. Yep Monday's demand you wear their uniform which smacks of 'respectability' - - Ignore that rule too. And refuse to go to any place of business unless it is a mall or a restaurant where you can flit away the hours as if drooling while napping. Mondays need to hear papers shuffling and phones ringing in order to survive until Tuesday comes and bumps it over with it's terrible bad breath.
